Everyone loves a party or maybe even two

Everyone loves a party or maybe even two but if you and some of your friends have limited finances or a mortgage, then too many parties can be bad for your relationships as well as your finances.

You might be have almost too many things to prepare and check before the big day, but you could find it hard to refuse when somebody offers to hold some sort of celebration leading up to the
wedding.

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But, each party, shower or dinner puts a financial cost and time commitment on everyone who is asked to attend.

I suggest that you limit them to, say, three, and insist that anyone
who wants to bring a gift should please just bring one to one event.
Emphasize that their presence and support is the best gift anyway.
My top three would be the Announcement party, if your parents
want to host and pay for it, the helpers (mainly the Bridesmaids)
lunch to thank them for their contribution and patience, and the
rehearsal party.

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Maybe you might think three could be too much of a strain for some
of your friends or family. That shows you’re thinking right – about
them and not just yourself. How you handle it is up to you.
But, I’m sure that you need some occasion for everyone of the
major players to get together in a party atmosphere before the
wedding.

The Rehearsal Party
That rehearsal party is usually fairly casual and serves as a stress
diffuser after the walk-though check of the wedding.

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You’ll usually have the two families and other members of the bridal
party with their partners, any guests that have arrived from some
distance away and the celebrant. This is their chance to meet in a
fairly relaxed atmosphere so that they get to know a little bit about
each other before the wedding day.

You can also use the occasion to get some of the people that will
give speeches at the reception a chance for a rehearsal of their own
(with different material) in a very relaxed and friendly atmosphere.

Priming and Pruning the Guest List

The guest list is likely to be one of the most sensitive areas when you are arranging your wedding and the reception.

There used to be a tradition where the total number of guests was decided by the overall budget, with a slight reduction to allow for
unexpected contingencies.

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Then, the bride’s parents would invite about one third of that number, the groom’s parents a like number and the other third
would come from the bride’s and groom’s own personal friends.
There are usually more people on each of their lists than can be
invited.

Then, there could be pressure from the parents who are paying for
or subsidizing the major costs to let them invite more people.
There can be emotional pressure to invite distant or elderly relatives
who none of you can remember meeting, business colleagues of
your parents and other loosely connected people.

With most couples, the discussion doesn’t take long because the
budget runs down pretty quickly when you consider that each guest
that’s in any form of formal relationship will expect their partner to
be invited. Add your fathers’ bosses and their bank managers – that should be it.

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Be prepared for requests and even anger from people that didn’t
make the list. You’ll also get more requests from parents to bring
their children if you didn’t include them on the invitation and some
parents will bring their children along without asking.

The best answer is plain honesty, “The budget would not stretch
very far and I knew you would understand. Let’s arrange to meet
for dinner after the honeymoon?”

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Keep in touch with your guests and, especially, the bridal party.
There’s always the possibility that someone will have to pull out.
Then, you can either add someone else to the list (don’t be
surprised or disappointed if they decline the second-hand invitation)
or keep to one less so that your budget has a bit more cash in it.

Cutting Costs Without Pain

The first thing to do is to talk to all the people involved.
If someone promises you a contribution, either you or your partnermust follow up and sort things out.
That’s a task for whoever is more closely related to the person or
couple that made the promise.

But, understand if their circumstances, or their priorities, change.
You will have a, hopefully, long-term or even lifetime relationship
with them, and starting off with a heated discussion about money is
not a good omen.

On the other hand, don’t accept an obligation to pay some expenses
or for a gift for someone where you don’t think it’s reasonable.

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Outfitting the Wedding Party

The mothers of the bride and groom will choose their own dresses
and pay for them themselves.

If the outfits for the groom and groomsmen are hired, the bridal
couple will probably pay those charges if they’re not picked up by
the groom’s parents.

The bridesmaids’ outfits are most often either paid for by the bridal
couple or their parents but many people now ask the bridesmaids to
buy their own outfit.

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If they are to pay for their own, then the bride needs to be as
flexible as possible, either settling on a design which all are
comfortable with and letting each bridesmaid choose their own color
or setting on a color which complements her outfit and letting the
bridesmaids choose a design which each feel suits them.
You may still have to help one or more of your friends with some
money or lose their services.

You might be able to get a better deal from the bridal salon if you
all buy the same style at the same time. But, you can also check out other dress shops and even factory outlets in your area.

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I don’t recommend buying dresses from online auctions because of
possible delays, bad descriptions and the ever-present possibility of
fraud.

Their shoes and the bride’s should be the same color, or dyed to
match. Be particularly careful to choose shoes which are supportive
and they must be comfortable.

Many venues have floors which suck the strength from your legs
over a few hours. Waking up the next morning with aching legs is
not a good way to start your marriage.

Maybe you could wear more stylish, but less comfortable shoes for
the ceremony and change them for a pair which look after your feet
better when you get to the reception venue.

The professional comic spends years perfecting a personal style that looks effortless

The professional comic spends years perfecting a personal style that
looks effortless.

But that makes the untalented, or drunk joker think it must be easy
enough that even he can do it.

If you want to make a great impression with your jokes, try to
follow these tips from a very funny friend of mine:
1. Rehearse everything you are going to say, including any
apparently impromptu jokes (ad-libs).
2. Be careful that you offend no-one.
3. If you must make someone the butt of a joke, use it against
yourself. It worked pretty good for Bob Hope.
4. Don’t just leave them laughing. Stop before your run out of
your best material and leave them wanting more!
5. Many people think that a little alcohol before they give a
speech or tell a joke will “loosen them up” and help them
fight their stage-fright. Instead, alcohol relaxes your
inhibitions and reduces your coordination – a recipe for
disaster!.Feeding the Horde

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I’ve included some suggestions for using a professional catering
service or co-opting friends and family to reduce strain on your
budget. There’s a few other important points that you need to keep in mind.

Frugal Food

If your family is providing the food for the reception:
Choose dishes which are simple
to prepare such as lasagna, cold
meats, salads.

Limit the number of dishes to
simplify preparation and
transport.

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As a rough guide, figure a
pound of dry pasta enough for maybe eight guests and a pound of
mince for meatballs might be enough for twelve guests.
Not all guests will eat each dish and some will eat more than
anyone could expect.

Have plenty of bread (plain and wholemeal, or garlic if appropriate).
It’s fairly cheap and will probably reduce the consumption of the
main dishes a little.

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While there are many kinds of cake which might
be used for the Wedding cake, stick with plain
fruit cake; it is cheap, keeps well and almost
everyone can eat it.

Weddings can be a profitable area for Videographers

Weddings can be a profitable area for Videographers but it takes
experience and attention to detail to get good results.
Unfortunately, some people see wedding videography as a quick
way to earn some money from their new video camera, maybe so they can buy a better one.So, you’re likely to have to sort through a lot of wannabes to find someone with some good references which you can check and then
you need to discuss the fee.

Arrange to talk with the videographer that you are considering and ask them for references and also to let you see a full video from
someone else’s wedding.

If they cannot or will not supply a full wedding for your review and to return or even just watch in their premises, but want you to just look at selected short clips, my advice is to keep looking.

Ask how many people and cameras will be used. A good craftsman
or woman can produce an enjoyable result with just one camera and
operator but two cameras give many more possibilities (and cost
more too, of course).

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If the film will be edited, check whether you can also get a copy of
the raw footage for your own viewing. A professional probably won’t
agree to just supplying the raw footage because they would not
want it distributed – it might reflect on their professional reputation.
But, supplying an unedited copy might be agreed to provided you
confirm that it won’t be shown outside of your own home.

It’s a good idea to get a volunteer to stay near the videographer
while they are at the venue to smooth their way with the other
guests so they can concentrate on giving you the best possible
video memories.

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Give them a list of the main people at your wedding and reception
along with a clearly marked map and all the relevant people’s
mobile phone numbers.

Remember that when you are about to choose a dress in a very expensive fabric

Remember that when you are about to choose a dress in a very expensive fabric that some of them might not be able to buy enough to make an apron, let alone a complete outfit.

Tone down your spending to what is likely to suit their pockets too.
You can put the money you didn’t spend into your reserve cushion
or perhaps use it to help with some of their travel or
accommodation costs, if you’re not already picking up the tab.
Here’s a few other suggestions to help them help you and keep the
costs in check:

Dress Sense: Choose a style which will suit them or, if they vary
markedly in size and shape, settle on a color and ask them to get a
dress in that shade but to choose a style which suits them.
Make sure that you choose a color which is hard to duplicate in any
reasonably-priced type of fabric.

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Don’t just discuss your needs and the progress with your wedding
when they are around.

Ask them about their careers and conquests and the other interests
you all shared B.T.E. (Before The Engagement).
If you’ve got a few spare dollars, get some simple but classy jewelry
for your bridesmaids to wear and keep as a memento.

“How to Have a Wonderful Wedding” by Maureen Parnell Page 25 of 70
seconds to personally wish the happy couple well and speak a few
hurried words to the happy couple’s parents.

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But, it also tends to drag for the guests who are waiting to get to
the bridal party. They have only the people on either side of them in
the line and that’s often two people that they have already been
sharing a table with for some time. Maybe it’s time for the line to be erased.

Plan for Your Perfect Wedding

Decide where you will be married and where you want to have the
reception. Popular venues are often booked far in advance.
Contact any relatives and friends who might have to travel a
considerable distance to the event as soon as possible after booking
the venues.

Decide where you will have your honeymoon and start checking the
travel brochures and legal requirements, if any. Find out if you need
passports or other documentation and, if so, start the process.
Pack your luggage carefully, including you carry-on luggage, to
minimize delays at airports or when embarking on a cruise.
Check well in advance about any import restrictions which might
affect you in countries that you plan to visit.

You must sort out between you who you want to have fill the other
roles in your wedding party and contact them to see if they accept
and are available.

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Start planning what the bridal party will wear – six months out is
not too early to order your wedding dress.

Let your mothers decide between themselves what they will wear.
If you will have a bridal registry, start visiting those stores which
have the items you want and your guests are likely to be able to
afford.

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Start sorting out your guest list. You’ll probably involve your parents
but you should have the final say.
Order your wedding stationery; invitations, place cards and
whatever else you want.

A Better Wedding without Breaking Your Budget

A wedding will probably cost the happy couple
and their parents more than they expect, even if
they’re used to sticking to a budget.
There are so many things which have to be paid
for!

I’ve put together some tips to help you keep
control of your spending. Otherwise, you will
start your life as a married couple with a financial hangover that it
could take months or even years to recover from.
I can almost guarantee that your expenses will be more than you
thought. It’s like a “Parkinson’s Law” for Weddings; instead of “work
expands to fill the available time”, you get “expenses grow to
swallow the available budget!”.

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Your Budget.

1] Decide what you must have, list what you would like to have and
be ruthless about trimming what you can do without.
2] Never assume that anyone will give you some money or pay for
a particular item or service. Ask them, if you feel that is
appropriate. Otherwise, plan to cover it yourself.
3] Keep talking to everyone. Even when someone has committed to
paying for something, keep in touch. Remember that people’s
circumstances may change rapidly through an accident, a change in
their employment, unexpected medical expenses or just a change in
of their priorities. Keep in touch, and try to be as understanding as
possible if they cannot fulfill their promise.
4] Some people put conditions on their “help”. That might be to add
“How to Have a Wonderful Wedding” by Maureen Parnell Page 11 of 70
more people to your already bulging guest list or to sing at the
reception. You must decide with your partner how important the
financial contribution is to your budget and whether you will
accommodate the “request”, and possibly disappoint other people,
gently insist that the help is unconditional or decline the gift.
5] You, or your parents, may consider getting a loan to cover some
major wedding expenses. This is a personal decision which I can’t
advise about.

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I suggest that whoever is looking at this option, consider the longterm
effects:
1) Will this extra burden put a strain on your other financial
goals?
2) Will this debt put a strain on your relationship with each other
or your parents as you start married life?.
3) Can you comfortably meet the repayments?
4) Have you compared loan options, read all the fine print and
selected the best terms available?
5) How really important is the loan to making your wedding day
a happy one?

My fashion flair approach to photography

My clients love my fashion flair approach to photography. Many young men
and women want to feel like models, even if that is not their career—in fact,
especially if that is not their career. With shows like America’s Next Top Model,
people are craving the chance to look or at least feel like a model. You can give
your clients the opportunity to fulfill this desire.

The fashion flair approach turns a portrait from a chore into a great experience.
People no longer just show up at a studio in plain clothing, smile, and pose. Instead, they prepare clothing, maybe get their hair and makeup done, an show up at an exciting location. The shoot becomes their own. You make the shoot an experience to remember and the images something to brag about.

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My clients know that with me as their photographer, they can express something
about themselves. Whether it’s in their clothing or in their location, we work
together to create a piece of art. People don’t want to hang a boring picture of
themselves on the wall. But when a photo becomes a piece of art that the client
is incorporated into, it becomes something to be proud of. This book will show
you how to do that.

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Each photographer has a different style of shooting and desired aesthetics, but
no true photographer wants to be boring or typical. The point of photography
is to have a unique vision, which can translate into your portrait and wedding
photography.

People can go to Wal-Mart to get boring headshots. But if they want unique
quality imagery, they need to go to a professional photographer. If they want
imagery with a fashion twist, they need to come to you.

By distinguishing yourself with your fashion flair approach, people won’t seek
out your services for boring portraits. You won’t be expected to stick someone
in front of a background and snap a few static, formal portraits. Instead, they’ll
seek you out for striking and powerful imagery—imagery that says something
about them or stands out as a piece of art. The image in Figure I.2 is a piece of
art that tells a story, captures a moment, and would look stunning as a huge
print on a wall. This image is what fashion flair is all about.